i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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