Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
