sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
