I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
