just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
