i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
where are you?
Hypothermia
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
