hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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