I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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