if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
