Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
