You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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