I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
