Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
