Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
