went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
