Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
