so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize
