She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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