Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
