I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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