Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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