You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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