i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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