So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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