Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
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