if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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