we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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