Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
