Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
