dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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