I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
