New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
