Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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