god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
