I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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