Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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