we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
