I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
