didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
