I'm lost and stupid without you.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
