um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
