OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
