it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
