Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
