what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
