i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
