I am spending my child support on dildos
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
