yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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