honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
