she woke up with a sticky ear
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
