That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
honey bunches of taint.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
