I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
