i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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