He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
