I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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