'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
